which punishment do you use?
Ok my toddler has reached that stage where discipline is now necessary – Some say smack, some say time-out, some say verbal admonishment, some say ignore it, some say send them to their room… I’m confused. Which discipline is the most effective?
No discipline is effective on every child and no discipline is effective all the time on one child. Every child is so different. What you really need to think about is why are you disciplining? It is not about you being the big bad boss, it’s not to make your child feel shame, it’s not because you’re having a bad day and you need to be in control (even though sometimes that’s how it is). The real reason we discipline our children is to get them to a place of remorse where understand that their actions could be harmful to themselves or others.
I have always used time-out with my children. I felt if I smacked then how could I expect my child not to hit when they got frustrated. Discipline isn’t so much about smacking as it is losing a freedom or luxury that you once enjoyed. We also made sure time out was not in their room, we used the stairs as the time out place. We did not want the kids associating their rooms with a punishment.
When my son was very small and did not understand reasoning I used to smack his hand – not hard, but he felt a sting and he knew what he was doing was wrong. As he got older to an age where he could understand more I used more reasoning with him. He is now 7 and I very rarely have to discipline him as he understands the consequences to his actions, and not just in a ‘I’ll get in trouble’ kind of way, but he actually understands the danger behind silly acts that children can sometimes do.