4 Responses to Separation Anxiety

1. 
   peta said: On September 21, 2010

   Rule number 1 – never ever do the ‘quick he’s not looking’ and run technique. I’m a child care worker and the amount of mothers that do that astounds me! When you do the ‘run while they aren’t looking’ thing it makes it so so so much worse for the child and for you next time. When the child doesn’t see mum leave they then spend the next hour looking everywhere for you and it’s heartbreaking to watch. Also next time you drop them off they are so much clingier because they think the second they turn their back you’ll run away – which you will! So I know it’s hard to watch your baby cry as your walk out the door but please say goodbye first so they actually know you are gone.
2. 
   Michele said: On September 22, 2010

   My 3 children were the same! As much as it makes you feel loved and needed it also makes you feel claustrophobic at times. I eased my children into being away from mum by letting their grandmother take them for an hour here and two hours there. That way they were still with someone they loved and that knew and loved them. And my mum used to put the icing on the cake by always planning something extra fun when they went over there like a movie or a big play at the park followed by ice-cream – something for them to really look forward to and so they didn’t even have time to miss me.
3. 
   Jo said: On September 22, 2010

   I remember our preschool teacher telling me to reassure my child of my love for them but never tell them that you’ll miss them, because then they can feel guilty like they are the reason for mummy feeling sad. Instead tell them that you look forward to seeing them again and when you do come to pick them up say ‘I’m so happy to see you’. The children that parents said ‘I will miss you’ seemed so much keener to get back to mum because their absence was causing her pain.
4. 
   Val said: On September 22, 2010

   It can depend on your little persons age as to how much they will or wont miss you. For young children they don’t have any concept of ‘object consistency’, meaning when they can’t see it any more they think it is gone – that’s why peek-a-boo is so much fun with a baby. Separation anxiety is normal, especially in young children, but perhaps play games like peek-a-boo or hide and seek so your child starts to come to an understanding that just because he can’t see you, doesn’t mean your not coming back.