Tween tantrums
My tween son has taken to having, well I suppose they are tantrums really. He gets angry when I ask him to do something and starts yelling if I ask about his life because “I’m prying into his business again”. I just don’t know what will set him off anymore and I don’t know how to calm him down when he loses it. Any suggestions?
Boys can be hard at that age, who knows what they are thinking! They are getting to an age where all of a sudden they are bigger and stronger then mum and they think they can push you around. You need to set him straight and let him know you are still the boss! It works a lot easier if dad is in on this. You need him to step in next time your son has a melt down and sternly tell him ‘not to speak to his mother that way’, or if you really want to mess with his head get dad to tell him ‘don’t you dare speak to my wife that way!’. He may be bigger and stronger then you, but dad still trumps him!
Get him in a good mood and ask him why he has been so upset lately. Make sure he knows that you will not judge him regardless of his answer. If he refuses to talk to you offer that perhaps he’d like to someone else like his father or a grandparent or a teacher or coach, even a professional. Ask him what kind of business he has that is so important and so secret that he can’t share it with you, not that he can’t have his secrets but at his age nothing is really as life and death as it seems at the time.
The easiest way to get boys talking at this grunting caveman stage is to get their hands busy doing something. So either do a puzzle together or get him to help you wash up, or something else where you have his captured and you don’t necessarily have to make eye contact to talk. Then see if you can have a chat and see if you can draw out of him how he feels on a day to day basis – this may take a bit of coercing and patience on your side mum, he may not even know himself how he is feeling and hence the tantrums.