Bullys!
There is this dreadful child at school that has said some really hurtful things to my son, and another that pinches and hits everyone. What can I do about this?
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First things first always make the teacher aware of it! Don’t you hate class bullies, they make you want to turn into a bully yourself and set them straight! Argh! When we had one I told the teacher so he was aware of it and could watch exactly what was going on in the classroom. The teacher helped a lot – he moved my son away from the bully (before he was on the same table as him) and made sure they didn’t sit together or end up in the same groups in group work.
I find talking to the bullies mother is a good tactic. Tell her exactly what has been going on. Be careful here, don’t come at her in a horrible accusing manner or she’ll get all defensive. Just ask if you can have a minute to talk (do this privately too so as to no embarrass her) and tell her what’s been going on and what your child has said. I found when I did this our bullies mum got right on top of it and reminded her child each morning that such behaviour was unacceptable. The situation improved dramatically.
I believe the very first thing you should do is reassure your child! When a bully started in our school my child was quite upset by it all so I just made sure that he knew that he was still very much loved and valued. I also made sure he knew that this kind of behaviour was wrong and that he did not deserve to be treated so badly. I then spoke to him about some tactics to stop the bullying like turning to the bully and directly saying in a clear voice ‘Stop it, I don’t like what you are doing.’ I also got the teacher involved, this helped a lot.
The bully of our boy was a girl. We tried everything talking to the teacher, talking to the mum, talking to my son about what to do – nothing seemed to work effectively long term. Finally as kind of a stretching last resort we told our son to try flattery. We told our son to tell the girl bully that she looked pretty today (since most people say bullying comes from low self esteem). The result – he got a hug from her and next thing you know she’s following him around flirting with him! Hahaha