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Christina asks on 29th April, 2010
Working with a Group of Teens

I am more of a surrogate mom for a teen center, where I am the program director. The program supports teenagers in the evening for 3 days a week for 4 hours.

The focus of the program is to help them develop into socially responsible leaders of their community. We also have activities that are fun and help them move towards their goals.

Recently, some teens are not returning because activities run behind due to behavior and failure to comply with simple tasks that are asked of them. Some of the teens disrupt, whine, complain or criticize. This is the first semester that I am running the program and it is becoming very draining due to the lack of returning volunteers. Due to multiple issues and taking on a program in mid stream of the academic year, I am starting to feel as though I am ineffective and I feel instead of being able to bring them on activities and bring in visitors I am always in disciplinary mode.

I am also 24 and have no children of my own. So, I figured the best thing would be to ask moms how to get things moving again? How do I get a group of 6 – 10 teens to pay attention without having to stress myself – what seems to be all the time – and get them to engage into the activities without so much effort?

Does anyone have any suggestions, books, programs, etc I can refer to in order to help get them back on track?

I have 4 weeks to re-cooperate and prepare for the 5 week summer session and could use all the criticism possible. Thanks in advance Moms…I truly appreciate your dedication & commitment to your children.

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I used to teach Phys. Ed to gr. 7 and 8 so I know exactly what you’re saying about behaviour problems.

I found that the following helped me when I was having difficulty:

Keep calm , and ACT like they aren’t annoying you, they want to push any button they can!

Try to keep them going forward, plan a game that they like to play at the end of the period. For example, Pictionary, Jeopardy, something they really will like and will be motivated to play.

If you have to confront one of them, try to talk to them individually and not in front of the class, they will resent this and you also don’t want the class involved in the conflict.

Focus on the kids that want to be there, and relocate anyone who is disruptive. Sometimes, its who they are sitting beside that causes the behaviour. They want to show off , talk to their friend, etc. which is a bad mix.

Good luck!


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I agree with margc above- definitely act like they aren’t driving you crazy!

Try and notice if there is any particular time or during a specific activity that they start to really act up- if it is consistent than you may need to change that activity or institute an activity break of some kind which could help.

Try asking the kids for suggestions – this definitely doesn’t always work and depends on the group you have- but you could ask them what THEY think you should do about the constant disruptions, ask what they think the problem is. Find out if they have suggestions for activities etc.. They might surprise you with their creativity.


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