Taming Toddlers in the Night
I keep getting suckered in. Every time. Hook, line and sinker. I am a total sucker.
I strongly believe one of the best gifts we can give our children is to teach them to fall asleep on their own. Part of this theory extends to the middle of the night when the child wakes, then needs to put themselves back to sleep again. The Girl at 21 months however, still wakes about 20% of the time. We have let her cry it out… but it just doesn’t work. Honestly. She suckers me every time.
A classic example. The other night,Girl woke up around 2am. She had a huge dinner, drank a huge bottle, had a fun, busy day – all ingredients for a good night sleep.
She started with her usual whine and whimper. I didn’t take much note and kept dozing. 20 minutes later, she brought out her ‘A’ game. The blood curling – think-they-will-die type scream. I took note. The Husband and I agreed we would ignore her, she would have to weather this storm on her own. So we stayed put, me wide awake, him snoring.
And she just. Kept. Screaming. For 94 minutes. She changed the tone and volume a couple of times, she pulled out the “mama, mama, mama”, then increased her cry to “mama, mama, ba, ba” (translation: Bottle me lady, I am thirsty). Then she returned to the screaming and produced a symphony of sounds that made me start to cry. Then she launched in to the homerun: “Mummmmeeeeeee, mmuuuuummmmeeeeeeeeee, Up, Up, Up” which translates very clearly into “For crying out loud mum, I need a hug, I want up, and I need you”. After 94 minutes I had convinced myself she:
a) was hungry
b) was sick, and likely had a fever
c) was scared
d) had pooped
e) would like suffer from abandoned child syndrome (I don’t even know if there is such thing) and be forever scarred from this experience.
So I gave in, and walked in to her room. She immediately giggled and said “Hiiiii Mummmeeeeeee – you sucker”. (Well, I added that last part, but I am sure that is what she thought). She pleaded for a bottle, so off we went, hydrated her, had a quick snuggle and she was asleep within 7 minutes.
Now here’s my point. If I had simply given her a bottle when she first woke up, we all would have had 2 extra hours of sleep that night.
But at what point does the hammer come down, and the kids need to make it through the night on their own? How do you deal with your kids at night? How do you tame your toddler in the night?
Please leave any comments, stories, ideas or theories. I am all ears.
About Shelagh Cummins
Shelagh Cummins is the founder, editor and Mum-in-chief at Practicalmum.com – an online community parenting resource & blog. She is also the Principal at BizTrainHer.com, a boutique firm specializing in desiging, developing and facilitating training for women in business.
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I think the snoring husband is key!! This worked for us. My hubby could sleep through it too, and V at 21 months was also calling for a bottle or something at 2am. So I moved into the guest room for a long weekend, and my hubby slept through the crying. He maintains that our lovely daughter slept through from the first night; my theory is he slept through the crying. Either way, by the end of the weekend, we were all sleeping through the night!!
if all it takes is 10 minuted 1 or 2 nights a week, is it really such a big deal? i always get up (for me that means once every week or two)… i figure that if she wakes that rarely, she must really need something. and i have no strength when it comes to the “cry it out” concept… fortunately it doesn’t happen often.
@Nicole – I hear you. A little dose of reality is always good. I think I made up my mind that she should be sleeping through the night so was being stubborn… but you’re right. A couple of nights here and there really aren’t a big deal!
@Julia – love that my hubby isn’t the only one who can sleep through everything!! Interesting about the 21 month thing. I have just read that kids often go through a second round of separation anxiety which would explain why she blows gaskets when I leave (again… I thought we were over it!).
Earplugs.
Enlightening. Do dads have built in earplugs? Is that why they can sleep through the chaos? Don’t you get hit with the ‘what if’ guilt? hmmm, I know the answer to that.
No guilt. My kids are still alive, they don’t seem to dislike me too much and some people actually think they are relatively well adjusted girls! And they stay in their rooms until the clock says 8:00 before getting us. It’s all about training.
I wish I was as tough as you. Agree with you on your girls – they are fantastic critters. I think I need to investigate the built in ear plugs though…
Thanks for the great comments.