… don your oxygen mask before assisting your child.

Makes sense when flying, but what about with day to day living? Do you ever take time out to recharge your own batteries, or to oxygenate yourself back to life? Do you ever put the oxygen mask on yourself before your children?

I know it is time to re-oxygenate when I have the following dialogue with my husband:

Husband: Hi, How was your day?

Wife: Fine

Husband: What did you do today?

Wife: Not much.

Not much. NOT MUCH? Why did I say that? Not much, my a**!

I only did 4 loads of laundry today and each hamper still has dirty clothes in it. I cleaned the kitchen 3 times already, I still need to do the dishes and sweep the floor after dinner. I changed countless diapers, coaxed The Boy to the toilet numerous times, sidestepped the minefield of children’s temperaments too many times to count. We went to school, for a walk, to the park, played on bikes, drew on the driveway with chalk, chatted up the grouchy lady next door, served 3 meals, 2 snacks, made muffins, answered the question “Can I watch Thomas now” over 17,000 times… yet when my husband comes home and asks me what I have done all day… I say… “not much? “. I need to give my head a rattle!

Over the summer, my girlfriends and I went away for 4 days on a canoe trip. It was some of the best oxygen I have breathed in years! Getting ready for the trip was no small feat. I love my husband dearly; he is a fantastic dad and an incredible husband. I am very grateful for his encouragement to get out of the house and to reconnect with myself. But holy crap. When he leaves on business trips, he simply packs his bags and walks out the front door. When I leave … it takes 4 days just to leave for 4 days! Lists were made, laundry was done, meals were cooked, childcare was arranged, instructions were typed out… the whole gammit. No stone left unturned.

We girls canoed through Algonquin Park. It was sensational. We managed to be out on the only beautiful weekend of the 2009 summer. We chose a route that had us paddling 8 hour days, but with phenomenal camp sites to enjoy in the evening. We ate like queens; steak, stirfries, baking (yes- cake made in a dutch oven), treats, wine, vodka… It was better than any five star resort.

Reconnecting with my girlfriends was truly amazing, but the best part of the 4 days was reconnecting with myself. Me, without a child hanging off me. Me, as a grown woman with an identity that isn’t being someone’s Mom. It was hard on the first day to lose the mom persona and just be myself. I could swear. I could talk openly about anything. I could eat whenever I wanted, not on a schedule. I could think only about me… in my canoe… with my paddle… and the bears. It was all about me.

The physical demands of the trip were just enough that I was tired at the end of the day, but not so tired that I couldn’t function. I knew I had accomplished something because my body told me so… and at the end of the day there was closure to my activity. We knew we were on fire when we would breeze past kids from local camps out on their trips… here we were, 4 magnificent 30- somethings out-tripping the kids. And they weren’t ours. And we didn’t have to pay any attention to them.

I have been riding the high from that trip for the last few months. When I reach the breaking point, I bring myself back to the rock, over looking the water while the sun sets, surrounding by my girls, and a stiff drink in hand. Pure oxygen.

How do you prevent yourself from being sucked into the parenting abyss of others needs, meals, laundry, cleaning, diapers… and re-energize your soul? What is your oxygen?

So when is my next oxygen rejuvenation? I am planning a girls night… not just any girls night. It is a Diva Girl girls night… complete with martinis, apps, laughs and the Diva Girl game.  I’ll keep ya posted!

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